On Practicing Enough

In my New Years Goals post, I told you that this year I am focusing on the word "enough". I thought I'd give you a little back story as to why. I have always loved clothes, fashion, design, decor and decorating (clearly!) I also really enjoy the feeling I get when I buy something new. It's exciting! Sadly, it's sometimes even fulfilling. I've also always been a spender. If I could go back and tell myself something in college, it'd be to actually save the money I was making rather than buy clothes, get manicures and go do things with it all the time. It wasn't until after I graduated college when I realized it would have been realll nice to have a savings to help with student loans ;) 

The other thing I fall prey to is comparison. It's this ugly slope of seeing someone you know (or maybe someone you only know on the internet) and thinking you are either less than, don't have a pretty enough home, cute enough clothes, or you need better this, that, or the other thing. You end up feeling like what you have, who you are or what you do isn't enough. Have you ever felt that way? For me, this feeling only really creeps in when I'm scrolling Instagram. I see everyone's seemingly perfect life through the highlight reel of those little squares and can easily get caught up.  "I need that sweater-- it will make me feel better about living in an arctic tundra!" -- I'll justify to myself after seeing someone post about the cutest sweater I've ever seen and suddenly feel the need to own it. You know what the truth is, though? I don't need that sweater! I don't need anything. I've been so convicted of that recently. Stuff doesn't buy happiness. It doesn't fulfill us. It may provide temporary happiness, but not true joy. This year I really want to focus on the idea of "enough" to remind myself that the only thing I really need is Jesus. My hope is in Him. My joy comes from Him. 

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It's a hard balance, to be honest, because I love sharing good finds with you here on my blog and Instagram. I am an interior designer with clients who pay me to make their homes beautiful, functional spaces for their family. Pretty things are very much a part of my life. And I think that's okay! It's fun to get new things, it's good and right to appreciate and love beauty (just look at the sunsets; God creates those! He loves beauty!) -- even beauty in your home. I think the issue, at least for me, is when I feel myself comparing myself to others, focusing on what I don't have, or what I think I need to be happy. Good things can turn into idols and I just don't want shopping or material things to be one of mine, since I know it's a tempting one for my heart to turn to for comfort or happiness. So that's where the root today's post comes in. I'm sharing something a lot more personal than I usually get on my blog and I hope that's okay with you! Growing up I'd never really practiced Lent. But over the past few years I learned the importance of the tradition and have felt it impressed on my heart to share this year. Lent is the 40 days leading up to Easter where we observe and reflect on what God has done for us. Sometimes Christians will give something up during these 40 days to teach ourselves to lean on Jesus and remind ourselves of His sacrifice, goodness, and enough-ness. Last year I never wrote about my experience with what I gave up, but had always planned on it. I think I didn't share out of fear that people wouldn't understand, they would judge my decision or just really not care. But this year I feel like I'm supposed to share it, if it even resonates with one person! I have chosen to give up buying any and all home decor (yes, even the amazing candle I found for $11, originally $46, at the store the other day when shopping for a client) and all clothing and shoes for the 40 days of Lent. This may sound trivial or like I'm just trying to stay on budget, and while this is definitely a plus for our budget, I'm more so trying to teach myself self-control and learning that what I have is enough.
This doesn't mean I'll never shop again (ha...far from it!) but it does mean that during these 40 days I'm really trying to focus on thankfulness for all the blessings I do have. I want to give more than I take or buy. I want to be more aware that my clothing, shoes, warm blankets, yummy candles, and all my other home decor are gifts. While they absolutely help our house (or apartment in this case) feel like a home, we don't need them to be a family in these four walls. While my clothes definitely bring me happiness in that I love design and fashion, I don't need a million of them, while others hardly have any. I want my heart to grow in thankfulness for what we have and stop feeling like I need more to be good enough.  Does that make sense? I hope my heart is coming through here! I'm certainly not judging people who buy things or have a lot of clothes, or fill their home with expensive decor. I'm just saying this is where I'm at right now. This is what I'm trying to work on in my life!

Photos: Danyelle Dee Photography / Flowers: Wind Acre Farm 

I will continue to share things I love here on the blog and on my Instagram, but I just want you to understand I never think you need anything I'm posting about. If you happen to be looking for something I'm posting about or something here catches your eye, I'm so glad and happy to help! For all means, get it :) But I never want you to come to any of my posts or social medias and feel less than, because you don't have _____ (fill in the blank). 
This is a song I've been loving lately, truly helping me focus on Jesus as my enough. If you're interested, give it a listen! I'd love to hear if you're practicing Lent this year or if you have any similar feelings to what I wrote about!  Happy Monday! xoxo interior design website / services / portfolio