Monday, June 25, 2012

A Piece of My Heart

via
Today I'm sharing something personal; something I wouldn't normally share on the blog. I'm not writing because I want people to feel sorry for me, or because I think I owe this information to readers, but rather because I think I owe it to myself to write it out. Get it off my heart and into the open where girls who are going through the same sort of thing, can relate.  As a lifestyle blogger, I invite people into my home and life, and this is a very raw part of my life as of lately.


Two months ago I was so full of bliss, joy, every good and lovely emotion you could fathom. I sat writing in my journal about how lucky-- blessed, rather -- I was to be in a relationship with a man of good character, one who treated me with respect, one who adored me and showed me that everyday.  One who loved the Lord and whom I prayed for and with- I was dating a guy with so many deeply good qualities...I just couldn't believe it was truly happening to me. You see, I'm good at being single. I've been single for most of my life, and the guys I did date throughout high school meant little to nothing to me in retrospect.  I was content being single, but when this man happened into my life, I was left feeling more joyful than I had been in a long time.  For the last 5 months, I was the happiest and luckiest girl in the world.
Then about a month ago my heart, mind, and soul were sent into shock.  The relationship was ending unexpectedly and I just couldn't understand it. The thing I worked to build for the previous 5 months was coming to an end. The person I cared about most wasn't going to be there anymore.


How do you even properly say goodbye to someone you've given your heart to when they're 2,250 miles away and you're doing it over the phone? You can't. 
You just can't.


A month ago I not only lost the most special man in my life as my boyfriend, I also lost him as a best friend. We would talk on the phone every night and share our days with one another. I miss that. I miss sweet text messages and looking at the cute pictures we had of the two of us. I miss hearing his voice.  Not a day goes by where I don't think of him.


Through this heartbreak I've learned a few things, which is why I'm here spilling a piece of my heart onto the pages of my blog {which is normally about design and pretty things...so I apologize}. I discovered that I've never been truly heartbroken before, and this is real and it's a true grieving process. I've learned time heals and that God has something else for me right now {though not sure what it is}. Although it's hard to trust, I must believe God has both of our greater goods in mind.  I've also learned that sometimes you don't get the answers you need or deserve at the end of a relationship, and it's okay to be upset, frustrated, questioning, and sad. Tears are good- something about crying makes the pain seem to slip away. 
Relationships are hard work, and I learned that they are risky. It was a huge risk and leap of faith to start dating a man who lived so far away, it was a risk to share him on the blog here knowing it may not work out, and it's a risk sharing my heart with you today. Were those risks worth taking? I think yes, because from each risk I've learned things. Yes, I learned them through pain, but I'm trusting this feeling will go away and I will be a better woman, wife, mom, friend, and Christ-follower from it.


Sometimes people and things float into your life for a short period of time, and as much as I wanted/want to hold on to him, I know I can't. Even in the midst of confusion and aching, there are a few things I know for sure: I know Christ loves me and my worth comes from Him alone, not through man. I also know what I deserve in a relationship. This past relationship showed me exactly what I deserve and how I should be treated, and friends- I encourage you {if you haven't already found the one} to set the bar high for men you date. Don't settle for less than what you deserve. Even though my heart is aching now, I feel blessed to have experienced such a healthy relationship. In time, my heart will heal and I'm confident I will become a better, stronger and more loving person because of this.  But until that day, I'm taking one day at a time, remembering it's okay to be sad and mourn the loss of someone special to me. Sometimes doing just that and reflecting on the time we did spend together is what my heart desires. Sometimes going shopping with my mom or blasting the song "Payphone" is what I need {ha!}. But the one thing my heart always needs is Jesus. He's all we ever need, and the only safe place we have to run.


So today as I share my struggles and pain, I pray you could see the hope in my story, and if you're struggling, you could feel that same hope. And remember {as I have to remind myself every morning as I wake up} that actively choosing to be thankful for what we do have in our life is what leads us to true, undeniable joy. 


A heavy post for a Monday, but at least it's out of the way and the rest of the week can be back to all things lovely :) May your Monday be filled with hope and encouragement...
Love,
Photobucket

76 comments:

  1. Michaela, this post made me cry! You have such amazing perspective on this whole experience, and I'm praying for you! So sorry for your heartbreak.

    xoxo
    eileen

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  2. everything in life is a learning experience and though you feel like a little piece of you has been taken away, you have also taken something away from the time and experience and you have grown and learned. it is hard, yes. but you do have an amazing perspective and are so beautiful inside and out. :) thinking of you.

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  3. oh heartbreaak is hard. It will make you a stronger person and you will get thru it. Thinking of you today.

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  4. I'm so sorry. It sounds like you have your priorities in order and you have faith in God. So sorry, I hope his plan for you will reveal itself soon.

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  5. Thank you so much for sharing something real to you. I am praying for you girl. Your strength and viewpoint on this is so mature and inspirational!

    Silver from A Silver Snapshot
    http://starthinker-silverbarter.blogspot.ca/
    asilversnapshot@hotmail.com

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  6. Saying a prayer for you friend. Goodbyes are never easy, but when one door closes another is bound to open!

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  7. Thank you for sharing your heart and for boldly proclaiming the good news about Jesus! Even though we know there will be suffering in this life, we are promised eternal life with him! We are continuing to pray for you. Keep doing the little things each day that bring you joy :).

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  8. Ouch so sorry you had to go through that. Praying for you!

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  9. awww Michaela this post breaks my heart because thinking of ANYONE ever breaking your heart is just nonsense. You are as sweet as pie and deserve 100000% of happiness :-)

    but yes God does have a plan for everyone and something else in mind. Breakups are hard. I went through a bad breakup when I first started college and thought I would never see the light of day again! But it turned around quickly when I met my now current boyfriend. Everything does happen for a reason! And your mister right is out there! I love your strength adn positive attitude though! That is something I wish I had back then!

    xoxoxo much love to you!!

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  10. Well, first I just want to thank you for sharing this. I know personal stories, especially about previous relationships can be difficult to open up about on our blogs. This past year or so for me was full of the worst heartbreak I’ve felt. There were the days I thought I’d never get through and the days where I was grateful for the pain that had to be felt in order to really know happiness and move forward onto something better.

    You said it perfectly – God has a plan. Sometimes we may not understand it at first, but as long as we trust there is a plan, we will get there one day at a time :) Thinking of you and praying for your heart to heal and be made even stronger!

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  11. Having been through heartbreak in the past I can absolutely relate to how you're feeling. It's a difficult time, but it is so wonderful that you have such a positive perspective on this. I'm a few years older than you (ahem, maybe more than a few) and I can tell you that God does have a plan for you. You may not see it now, but you will in the future. Had I not gone through my heartbreak years ago, I would never be with the wonderful man I am with today who truly is my soulmate. So keep yourself and know that everything happens for a reason. Prayers for you today.

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  12. You are such a beautiful person inside and out Michaela. I really admire you for 1. putting this on your blog so eloquently for the world to see and 2. having such a mature view on relationships and God's plan.

    You're an inspiration to me


    CarissaExplainsItAll

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  13. michaela, i've been in your shoes before as i think many people have. just know that it will take time to heal, but i promise you will start to feel better. i am praying for you & know that someone of your character will find the right guy when the time is right.

    http://ohhhsolovely.blogspot.com

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  14. Michaela, you are unbelievably wise and mature beyond your years. I'm so sorry you're going through this heartbreak, but you are so right knowing that God does have a perfect plan for you. (Always so much better than what we could plan for ourselves.) Romans 8:28 - "...All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Love that!

    Never apologize for sharing your heart beyond the "all things pretty" theme. ;) God has blessed you with incredible gifts and talents (which includes your writing) and has used those to touch others through this blog. He's given you the audience with which to be a tremendous influence! You never know how by your sharing this story today, you could impact someone and strengthen their faith. Ultimately, as you know, our lives are to honor the Lord, so if going through this helps someone else, you've done your part to praise Him beyond the human heartache. You wouldn't be real if your heart didn't hurt, (and people want to see "real"), but I'm so glad you have the faith to see beyond what is and have the hope for what will be.

    Okay...I guess a heavy post requires a heavy comment? ;) On a side note, that picture of you (both the photography itself and YOU) is stunning! The right man, at the right time, is going to be one very BLESSED man. ;) You're beautiful on the inside and out.

    Perfect for you today, two of my favorite verses...I'm sure you're very familiar with them: Jeremiah 29:11 and Proverbs 3:5-6.

    Hope your heart feels a little lighter today and in the days to come.

    Hugs from sunny SoFla! (Actually it's extremely rainy lately...yuck.)

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  15. I'm sorry for your heartache. I think it's important to know that it's okay not to be okay. At least for awhile, people may tell you to move on but if you're not ready there's nothing wrong with that. Taking some time for yourself and focusing on your support system is so important.
    I went through a rough breakup years ago and I honestly didn't understand what God had in store for me. It was the first person I ever really loved and I didn't think I would love like that again. Fortunately, that wasn't the case, I met a wonderful guy with all the qualities I wanted in a husband. I think a small part of me will always remember my first love but I've been able to give my whole heart to the real love of my life as I'm sure you will be when you find him.

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  16. Aw Michaela, I am sorry you are going through this. You are such a delightful young woman, I hope that your heart heals and your soul mends. Hugs to you on this post-quake Monday morning.

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  17. Michaela I'm so sorry that your relationship ended on such a sad note. But I am so glad that you know what you want and deserve. Sometimes that's the hardest part of relationships is knowing what we deserve but I'm so glad you've recognized that. Like you, I believe that God has a plan for all of us. The hard part is just waiting for the plan to be put in motion! I believe good things are ahead for you! (and hopefully for me too!)

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  18. Hi Michaela, Sorry to hear about your breakup, you are an amazing girl and i know you will find someone that is right for you. I went through all of that before i met my mr. right.

    Thinking of you!

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  19. thinking of you lovey :) stay strong.. so proud of you for sharing all your wisdom! XO

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  20. Praying for you and thank you for being so transparent. I pray the Lord blesses you and lets you know He has greater things in store for you.

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  21. So sorry to hear this Michaela! I can already see that God is bringing you through this just by your desire to be thankful to Him and how you are trying to learn from this experience. The most important man you will ever have in your life is Jesus and as long as He is there, single, dating, married.......you will always be ok! <3

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  22. Michaela, I applaud you for being so open and pouring out your heart in this post. As a mother, I have personally experienced this and have also had to be there as my girls have experienced similar situations. They are never easy, and sometimes come with a lot of pain. But you are so right, God knows the plans he has for you, part of it was this short bit of time spent with this young man, but not the future. He has someone else in mind for that. In the meantime, God will continue to walk alongside you and guide you along the path he has set forth for you. Praying the pain eases as the days go on. I am in the midst of a new book, The Resolution For Women, I recommend it for any age...young/old, single/married.

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  23. Sweet Michaela -- heartbreak, especially the first one, is the hardest. But I believe that it makes us appreciate 'the one' so much more, because we've seen the other side. You are in such a good place about it, but I'm so sorry for your sadness. xoooxxx

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  24. Ugh, break ups are so hard. I so admire your strength, positivity, and faith through it all. You are such a wonderful, sweet person and I am excited for the day when you find your true love! You deserve the best :) Love you, girl!

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  25. I knew you would share this beautifully but you really outdid yourself --- this post is so perfect. Love you and I can't promise that I won't give you know who a quick crack to the jaw if I ever see him in the G-Rap :) okay, just kidding...maybe. Love you!

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  26. Michaela this post is beautiful and I think it's so brave of you to share your heart because I know there are so many people out there who can relate to this post...I'm sorry you're hurting right now, as I know breakups are never fun...but at the same time I think that your attitude in the midst of heartbreak is extremely inspiring and you're so right on with everything you said. You're beautiful inside and out and although things are hard right now, I have no doubt that the Lord will end up using this experience for good! xoxo

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  27. I hope everything is alright out there for you right now, dear! You're such a great, sweet person!

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  28. Thankyou soooooo much for this poast! This was deep and beautifully written! Remember, even though you may not see it now, God must haves someone else watiting for you. Keep up your courage!

    -'Till The Stars Go Blue Blog

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  29. Beautiful post. Beautiful photo. It hurts like you can't believe. I know. But always keep that bar high. I am so happy that you have experienced a great relationship. You will carry all of this with you into the "one" and be such a stronger woman and wife. Hugs sweet girl.

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  30. Michaela,
    My heart goes out to you:( You of all people deserve to the best, and someone who will love you consistently and constatly. I am so sad you have to go through this.

    When I went through heart break, I cried myself to sleep for months. Its okay to cry and feel the pain. I did realize though that through the suffering God allowed me to now empathize with others who have been through or are going through this.
    I have no doubt you will be a strength for others now, and that God has something great in store for you.
    Much love,
    Anna

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  31. I am so sorry to hear this. You are such a strong, beautiful and smart girl with a world of good times ahead. I have been exactly where you are, so I can relate. You deserve the best of the best my friend and I am certain He will bless you with that.

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  32. Michaeala my heart goes out to you. We have all been there and it hurts so so so much. There is nothing but time that can heal your heart. I can promise you that one day you will wake up and realize that you aren't sad anymore. This heartbreak will become a little learning lesson that will make you more you and more ready for the person that you are supposed to share your life with. I hope that you transition through this quickly! xoxox

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  33. I'm so sorry for what you're going through, but I'm thankful for your willingness to share. Thank you for being daring and laying your heart out there for us to be blessed by (and I truly am).

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  34. Oh Michaela ... you just explained that so beautifully. I felt so tearful while reading this as it reminded me of a guy I dated for 5 months also, it fell apart because of distance and it broke my heart too ... but i put my faith in god and 7 years later i am engaged to be married to the most beautiful man I have ever met ... there is some good and it will come your way just be patient and god will align the universe in such a way to bring him to you ... all the best sweetness and don't forget to stay focussed !

    Love Chrissi xx

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  35. Michaela, you are such a strong and mature individual and as hard as this is now, I promise it will get easier. Most people don't have the insight like you have after a tough break up and I know your positive attitude and inclination that things happen for a reason will help this get better with time. Thanks for sharing your emotions on your blog, it's reassuring to see someone put their real feelings out in this blog world that is often just full of pretty pictures and happy thoughts! You are going to be even stronger for this experience (the same thing happened to me and it was a blessing in disguise) and I look forward to seeing all the great things you will do!

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  36. As my mom and I like to say, you're handling this with such grace and composure. I appreciate you sharing this hard time with us on your blog. I think these are the hardest posts to not only write, but then to click publish on. I'm so glad you did decide to share and know that we've all been through heartache in one form or another. Sending you hugs!

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  37. Oh Sheez, I hate to see you with a broken heart! I too had a broken heart and he ended up my brother-in-law - he married my husbands little sister! So, I can honestly say Thank You Heavenly Father for unanswered prayers! I didn't feel that at the time, but I was able to see how there was another plan for me - and it was the Right plan! Please take comfort in that! I still have a very handsome, sweet son who is going to be going to Dental School who is single! Check him out on my blog under family!

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  38. Michaela, you have seriously taken the words out of my mouth. Break ups are so, so hard. Maybe everyone is different, but for me, going through a break up is one of the hardest things that I've gone through. BUT, I am always, always so much stronger and clear-minded after. It's a pain that reminds me how strong I am, and like you said, our identity comes from Christ. Our worth, comes from Christ. My last break up taught me that, and that lesson was alone worth all of the pain of the break up. Praying for you girl! Thanks for putting my thoughts into words :)

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  39. im a total stranger and have never commented before. I do LOVE your blog! I just cant say enough about this post! You can tell what a real person you are and that you have a truly special heart! I hope this doesnt come across as weird but seriously this was beautifully said! I just wanted to let you know that what you said about not settling is so true. I am now married for almost 5 years and have a daughter! The guy I was dating before was a wonderful person and treated me like a princess. However there were just certain reasons that we just had to let the relationship go. I thought I would never get over him and that NO ONE would treat me that good ever again. Im her to tell you I was wrong! SO SO WRONG! My husband is the most loving caring generous and Godly man. We may struggle financially and we may not have a lot but my dreams came true when I met him. Hang in there! I will be praying for you! You are a georgeous girl and you will find the man you SO deserve!

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  40. Dearest Michaela,
    what a beautifully written post. Your positive outlook and faith in the Lord is a true inspiration to all of us. So thankful to be following someone as remarkable as you. You are in my thoughts.
    Much love,
    Tiffany
    tiffanyleighinteriordesign.blogspot.com

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  41. I'm so sorry to hear this. I sort of had a feeling just based on some of your other posts, but I'm sure this is a tough time. Thinking of you and hoping you find soon what He has in store for you - I'm sure its amazing!

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  42. muffin my heart aches for you as i know just how hard an unexpected relationship ending can be.

    i love your attitude through all of this and how you're handling it - drawing closer to God instead of away. i wish i had magical words for you that would make it better or some secret to make you just be over it but, i don't. hang in there chica and i will be praying my little heart out for yours.

    XO, A

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  43. So sorry, girl. I just know that God has something better in store for you. Hugs!

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  44. I'm so sorry. It's hard, no matter what anyone says. Two true things, I firmly believe....one, time is about the only thing that heals a sadness like this. Two, I truly believe you can only have your heart really broken just once. Oh there will be other disappointments in life, but after this heals it's almost like it forms a layer of scar tissue, making your heart not hard or cynical, but stronger. And theres a lot to learning first hand that you can survive, come out of it smarter and more mature on the other side. And everyone who comes into your life helps you learn not just what you want in the future, but what you don't want...equally important.

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  45. i read this in 1000 gifts today - "when it's dark, God has us in the rock's cleft, covered us with His hand. Dark may be the holiest ground: God's passing by".

    You are wise beyond your years. I know this is incredibly tough. heartbreak is the worst. but it is so much better on the other side. your future husband is going to be SO amazing. I can't even handle how God will bless you so richly. (: And I'm sure you've read, redeeming love, but it's best after a heartbreak. even if it's been read before - it is definitely seen in a different light.

    love and prayers and blessings.

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  46. Thank you for sharing. My marriage of 7 years ended unexpectedly 18 months ago. In a matter of moments my life as I knew it and the future I thought I knew disappeared and left me an empty shell. The pain is still with me but becomes more bearable with each passing day.

    Again, thank you for opening your heart to your readers.

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  47. Michaela,

    About seven years ago I was in a situation very similar to this one. I was upset and hurt but I tried to remain positive that something amazing would come from my heartache. It wasn't but six months later I started dating the man that is now my husband. A wonderful, strong, sensitive, Jesus-loving man who brought me back to church when I had started to turn away. I do not regret the relationship that didn't last as it taught me so much. Keep your head up, lovely; something amazing is coming your way.

    Courtney

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  48. Awww Michaela, my heart is breaking for you :( I went through the same thing and it was SO painful. I know exactly how you feel.

    It's so hard to just let go of someone you've loved for so long and someone you've given your heart too. You totally said it straight on. God always has a plan, even if it's not apparent right then and there!

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  49. You broke my heart today just reading this. You are a very strong girl and even though I don't understand all that you have been through I do trust God with you and His plans for you. All my love to you.
    Grandma B

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  50. I'm so sorry your heart is hurting Michaela. You will heal and the hurt will go away. There is LOVE and JOY and a beautiful husband and family in your future. God knows the desires of your heart.

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  51. Michaela, my heart goes out to you. You are such a strong woman and even though this experience is so hard you will have a better future because of it. Keep your bar high because you deserve it!

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  52. I am really proud of you for posting this. My heart hurts for you. I'll be lifting you up in prayer, sweet sister. You are such an encouragement to me and you've got such an amazing impact on women around this blog world. I am so blessed by how you have shared your heart and shared Christ. He is glorified. Know that.

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  53. Heartbreak is the worst, I'm so sorry Michaela! Rest assured you'll learn much from this experience and grow stronger

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  54. So beautifully written. All the comments made me tear up. You are SO loved.

    So proud of you, bestie! Love you so much!

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  55. Michaela - I am so sorry to hear that you're heart is broken. Your words are so beautiful. I am thinking and praying for you during this rough time.

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  56. wow michaela! i am so sorry! you are an inspiration in this circumstance though. you are filled with hope and that is amazing. you have shared your heartbreak so beautifully. hope everything is ok :) xx

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  57. aw, michaela. i'm so sorry that you are hurting. heartbreak is tough, but you will take something from the relationship and you will be better for it. keep that bar high. sending hugs.

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  58. Aw michaela I am sorry to hear about the breakup. Might I say, your outlook on it, life and God is such an encouragement. You look at life in such a positive light! It's rare to come across a person with that quality, it's lovely! I enjoy seeing the pretty things, but what I enjoy more is reading the real things. So thanks for sharing! My prayers are with you

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  59. Aww Michaela I just jumped over from adventures of newlyweds, and had just seen the happy video..and now this sad post. I'm so sorry and hoping your healing process is quick! God is so amazing and truly heals all broken hearts. I am happy to hear you're taking comfort in him. And it's okay to share/vent when you need to!

    Hugs,
    April

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  60. My heart ached when I read this. Rember, God cannot give us more than we can handle. You are strong in your faith, and I am certain there will be a special someone for you. God Bless!

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  61. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss Michaela. It is always hard to face loss, lose a loved one, and face disappointment. When I face trials both professionally and personally, I have held on this this quote from one of my favorite Amos Lee songs: "time swallows everything, from the mighty to the meager thing." Breaking up with a loved one is one of life's mighty things, but you must have faith that over time, your heart will heal. The right man will come into your life when he is meant to be there for you.

    xo Lisa

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  62. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  63. I know you're hurting and I feel bad for you but I think you just need to view this through different lenses. Many people who are reading this post have lost husbands and wives, parents, been divorced, lost children, been cheated on after years of being together. Have had to literally pick up the pieces of their life and move on. I just feel like this is a little much and is insulting to those. And as one of those people, who has watched many people experience great lost, this post seems very self-centered and off base.

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  64. Dear "Anonymous"-- the fact that you are posting this comment as anonymous says a lot about you.
    First it says that you are a coward, you hides behind your computer screen to insult and make rude off-base comments. Second it tells me that you must be really concerned about what people think about you, so much so that you went so far as to protect you true identity. That, or you are a crazy, bitter person who finds it thrilling to spread your negativity all over the internet.

    Guess what? Last time I checked blogging and blogs are PERSONAL things used to document people's lives and PERSONAL stories. You know, PERSONAL derived from the english word meaning THEIR OWN. (see where I am going with this?)

    With that being said we must have read entirely different posts (do you have a mirror site up Michaela where you are posting self-centered stuff and then leaving the reasonably, Christ centered posts up for me to see?! how dare you....)

    Basically, get a life anonymous. Yeah, I just said that.

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  65. To Anonymous, I'm so sorry you found this post "self-centered" and "off base". If you felt that way, you didn't have to continue reading, as it is MY blog and I get to write about what I want to. If you knew me at all, you would know that I had no intention of this sounding self-centered, but instead I wrote in hopes of relating with other girls who have gone/are going through similar situations. I never said those other things you mentioned were less painful than going through a breakup...in fact, I know it's quite the contrary. My heart goes out to those who are suffering greater than I did. And I know there are many people out there who have gone through something so much more painful than what I did- I'm not naive or ignorant about those situations. Hearing you have friends close to you who have gone through something as serious as what you mentioned breaks my heart. It seems like you have been personally hurt by someone or something, and for that I'm sorry, but pain is always relative. There's always going to be people suffering more than me and more than you.

    For me, at age 21, this has been the biggest "loss" I have experienced. I have a lot of life left to live, and I know greater loss and pain will come, but I wrote this out on my personal blog as a way to relate and share my struggle with others. And just so you know, I received many emails from young girls going through the same thing as I did. I can only hope my words were an encouragement to them.

    Next time you have a problem with something I write on my own blog, please email me directly, or don't comment at all, as my blog is a place for encouragement. Again, my heart goes out to your friends who are experiencing greater loss than mine.

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  66. DUDE - it was a FIVE MONTH relationship!!! Get over yourself.

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  67. anonymous, bitter! party of one!

    you are giving me the LOLZ over here!

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  68. Maybe they aren't bitter. Perhaps just a bit more realistic? I mean, I don't know Anon but it seems not too terribly mean and more honest. I wouldn't take offense. I definitely see the validity in all of these arguments but as a blogger, when you put yourself out there in such a personal way, you open yourself up for others to comment on the way you handle situations. Just comes with the territory.

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  69. I definitely don't think that you sounded self-centered or unrealistic at all. You were simply sharing your feelings as they are experienced related to your heartbreak and no one can fault you for that. Plus, Christ was the center of the post and that is certainly not self-centered at all. I definitely think that girls ALL over read this and appreciated you being so honest about something that everyone has been through. We have all been heartbroken by a relationship at some point and it hurts. It's nice that you shared your story and don't try to make your life seem "perfect" on the blog. And while other losses are certainly more traumatic and harder than this, nowhere in the post did I read anything saying "my loss is worse than anything else" or "this pain has to be worse than anything else." I feel that you were quite realistic in terms of the way heartbreak feels.

    I can truly comment on experiencing a "harder" loss. I definitely remember feeling completely and totally heartbroken when my college boyfriend and I broke up. It was real. Here I am, years later, and I have now experienced the loss of a child through miscarriage. And while obviously this pain is much deeper and much worse and really will never go away, I certainly don't think that it invalidates the pain I felt during our breakup years ago. As you said, Mich, pain is relative and until we experience it at different levels, we can only share what we experience. I blogged about my miscarriage and it is definitely the biggest loss that I have ever experienced, but someone reading could have lost a child already on the Earth, or something even worse. I always feel blessed in life and I know that somewhere out there someone is hurting much more than I am, but I definitely don't think that means that I have any less pain. And anyone who has had their heart broken by ANYTHING, should remember the feelings all too well and I would think never criticize another for having to experience those horrible feelings.

    All that being said, that's simply why I don't allow anonymous comments. If you want to say something about my posts, say it under your name and don't be ashamed. Email it. Don't hide behind a name that the blogger cannot respond to.

    Love you, Mich. Let this one go. One rude person out of all these comments isn't worth it. We all love you!!

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  70. If I could like Megan's comment I would "like" it a million times!

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  71. Oh Michaela...I'm so sorry I missed this post. I really honor your bravery for posting something so intimate and personal here. The first heartbreak is always so hard...it's not just the loss of a significant other, but also the loss of a friend. I do know that it helps shape you as a person and will prepare you for the right guy. You are a beautiful, talented, and genuinely sweet girl and I know you will only blossom from here!!

    LOVED seeing you today. Thanks for coming all this way! You are such a sweet friend...I am so blessed that blogging brought us together! XO

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  72. Michaela I am so sorry- I've been there too. But you are so right that you should never settle for something that doesn't make you 100% happy. Someone once told me that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. And it is so true, every guy you date, like, talk to will help you mold the idea of what qualities you are looking for in a husband. And I also agree with Megan 100%. I have 2 babies and a best friend in heaven. I have also experienced break ups and cheating boyfriends. While the loss of a loved one is much deeper and difficult. Pain is pain no matter what level of pain it is, it still hurts. Praying for you friend and don't let anyone try and bring you down!! xo

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  73. Hi Michaela, I just read this sweet post and I'll be saying a prayer for you. You're right that God indeed has the best plans for both of you and that Jesus is who you'll ever need. I'm so blessed by your post as it shows a lot of wisdom, faith in the goodness of God and humility and no trace of resentment. I pray that God would continue to bless you and keep using you and your life to display His marvelous work! You are such a blessing and this post greatly encouraged me. :) It is so rare for a design and lifestyle blogger like you to share this personal tidbit but to me, this really touched my heart and encouraged me that someone out there also went through the same heartbreak and loss and came out refined by the fire because of God and His love. :) Thank you.

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  74. I'm so sorry! In times like this I like the quote "Some people are in your life for a season...a reason...or for all time". Sometimes people come into your life and leave so you can move on to something better! You are gorgeous and talented, so I'm sure someone will snag you up soon :)

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  75. After a year, I still feel like that :( It is important to set the bar high. Sometimes people want us to put it down, but I believe it is not doing ourselves a favour to do so. I hope you feel better now..

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Thank you for stopping by! If you have a specific question, please email me at hello@michaelanoelledesigns.com. I always reply to emails! Have a blessed day! xoxo

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