Things We've Learned in the 1st Month of Marriage

These special pictures are the first moments we saw each other on our wedding day, captured by our amazing photographer, Danielle Poff Photography. Seeing these images brings back allll the feels of our wedding day, they seemed so appropriate to post today since we are sharing a few things we've learned in the first month of our marriage.

1. Marriage is FUN! There's just no other way to say it. It's the best thing ever :)

2. Marriage means time, effort, communication. It's only been 4 weeks and we have learned that work needs to go into our relationship. Just because we're married doesn't mean it's smooth sailing and we automatically know each other perfectly. We've learned not to overlook little things that need to be discussed. A major thing I have learned is that we need to over-communicate. We both want to feel included in each other's days even when we're working, we need to tell each other how we can best serve one another that day, we need to remember to tell each other if we have appointments or are hanging out with friends ahead of time (ahem...this one goes out to my husband...!) and need to make TIME for one another; to really invest in our relationship.

It's easy, especially after a long day, to want to sit on the couch and watch a show (we're loving Designated Survivor right now), but if we aren't careful, that can become the norm. What grows from a relationship of two people watching TV together all the time?! Not much, if it becomes a lazy habit. So we are remembering to put time and effort into our marriage. Spontaneous trips to the grocery store late at night (guess who's idea this was?! ;)), buying tickets for a concert 5 minutes before it started and enjoying one of our favorite bands, reading together, going to the apple orchard or going out to eat and sharing our hearts. This is where the good stuff happens.

3. We, in our human nature, are selfish. This is being revealed to me on a larger level than even when we were dating, because when we were at the altar on our wedding day, I vowed to put McCann before myself. I promised to serve him and love him sacrificially. So often I'm thinking of myself first, so I am trying to catch those habits and remember my vows. We are married, we are a unit. Our selfish nature and wants can keep us from that sweet covenant relationship, so laying that down and asking God to help us put each other first is a big thing we are learning. We are both thankful for His kindness in convicting us of our selfish ways. Remembering Philippians 2:3!

4. Sleeping with someone else in your bed is HARD to get used to. Especially when said someone is always hot and snores a little bit. Sorry husband ;) I was so thankful I had a cold last week and was taking cold medicine with stuff in it to make me sleep of the month!! Ha. Please tell me this gets better...or maybe we just need to buy a King bed?!

5. Sleeping with someone else in your bed is also HILARIOUS if they sleep talk. Oh man, I need to keep a notebook on my nightstand. Perhaps this is why I'm not sleeping very well ;) He tells me I sleep in the fetal position and barely move, nor make noise. I'm glad to have that confirmed. (However, I did shoot out of bed and scream last weekend when woken by the loudest crash of thunder I've ever heard. I, not the thunder, definitely woke him up!)

6.  Companionship is such a joy. The moment my husband walks in the door from work is the best part of my day. I work from home, so I'm alone a lot. When he gets home, I finally have him to talk to and snuggle with. We have each other around all the time. No more saying bye to him at night, when he had to go to his separate house before we were married. I always have someone to share my feelings, struggles and joys with. He shares his with me. Being married to him feels so safe. I'm so grateful.

7. Everyone lives differently! Since we didn't live together before we were married, we're still learning about our living styles. Thankfully he is super clean, just like me, so we don't have many issues there. There are certain things that make us laugh about each other. For example, he runs his toothbrush under water BEFORE he puts the toothpaste on. I've always put the toothpaste on, THEN run it under water before brushing. Insignificant and yet so fun to catch those things.

I could go on and on, but I will leave you with this one last thing:

8. Those photos up there? They melt my heart and show me the deep love not only my husband has for me, but that our God has for us. When McCann turned around to see me, his bride on our wedding day, he looked at me -- my flaws and all -- and was in awe. He saw me as spotless and beautiful. This is how Jesus looks at his children. This is the type of love God has for us. Being married points us to Jesus and that's really the best thing.

I'm sure we'll be learning a lot more in the next few months, so maybe I'll share some more!



  1. Yes yes yes!!! I laughed and almost cried reading this - SO GOOD! God bless you two!!

  2. While communication is super important, get a king size bed... That in my opinion is the key to a happy marriage ;)

  3. Were there any books you read either before your engagement or before your wedding on the subject of marriage you found helpful in preparing for marriage?

  4. We've been married 7 years and we just decided that we MUST get a king bed. I do what your husband does before brushing my teeth, haha.

  5. Aw - young married love! Makes me smile. It's my husband's and my 13th anniversary today! And I feel like we just walked down the aisle.

    Your lessons learned are good ones and will help serve you well in years to come. Throw in added stresses (jobs, home purchases, cross-country moves, infertility, kids, etc.) and you really realize that these basic things you outline here are just as important. I would love it if you shared more as you learn more. Congratulations, again!

  6. This is the sweetest ever! You two are just adorable. I suggest a sound machine or box fan...white noise solves all kinds of issues! ;)

  7. My husband and I have been married for almost 9 months and i relate to ALL of these. The sleeping thing DEFINITELY gets easier, it is so weird at first! Also, my man talks in his sleep BIG time...but he also responds when I talk to him and says the funniest things, it's the best.

  8. I remember it took me months to get used to sleeping with my hubby in the same bed! I was (and still am ;)) a total sprawler. It's funny though six years later, because when either of us have had to go somewhere overnight we always stay on our own side of the bed even if the other person isn't there. It gets easier ;). We have a queen but would love a king! Enjoy this time learning how to live with each other, it's a lot of fun and a lot of work but so worth it! And I second the fan, drowns out all the noise and most of the snoring ;).

  9. Such a great post and I put water on my toothbrush first too! :) My husband and I just celebrated our 11th anniversary. I would say to give the sleeping arrangement a little more time before getting a bigger bed. Maybe we were just lucky and it's been pretty easy sleeping side by side but I have never liked when we have been at a hotel in a king bed, it feels too big, we always end up cuddled in the middle together. :)I agree that spending intentional time listening and connecting with each other is very important but being content in just the mundane is important too. Marriage is indeed awesome and especially when it is orchestrated by our Father in heaven! :)


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